Downturn

When I go out everyday to leave Burak to preschool, I pass by a gas station. Today regular was $2.29. I think 3-4 miles up North it might be around $2.09. It's always very low north of the city. I remember, the days we used to pay $4.50 weren't that far past.

It's nice to see the drop in gas prices, but I also see the big "going out of business" sale signs. It's not the mom and pop store at the corner. They're already gone. These are the big guys. Linen's n Things and Circuit City.

When housing market got tighter and mortgage bubble burst I was thinking maybe it'd pass before we're affected. Then stock market turned upside down, I started to think of worrying things more than once a day. Now with all the closings, and huge lay downs by big corporations I'm biting my nails.

Most stay-at-home moms might aggree with me on this, because we have only one person on the line, remaining in the volatile job market and that's the only income we have right now. I have my Avon business and some other side start-ups going on but it's not going to pay our mortgage and living expenses alone for sure. In addition, working even part-time with two kids is not as easy as it sounds. At least, I feel guilty when I have to do work related stuff instead of playing with them or taking them to the library etc during the day. So, the less time devoted, the less income earned.

I left my job voluntarily and for a short period - theoretically. I loved my job and the company I worked for, and hopefully they appreciated me as a member of their team as they told me when I was leaving. The decision then was not that hard. I wanted to stay with my kids at home, instead of looking for a new nanny (love) after Ana. (When we moved, she couldn't come with us. She is the gratest nanny on Earth) If I would be making the same decision today, it wouldn't be that easy.

I just hope we can hold on tight until Ela is at least 2 years-old. I hope I am making the right choice of investment.